In our culture today there is so much emphasis placed on “finding the one.” And for those of us who are single, it can sometimes feel like overwhelming pressure. It can be confusing for singles to navigate how to walk in alignment with God’s will while still having the desire to find our life partner.
One thing I’ve come to understand as I draw in closer to the heart of God, is that we don’t need to live with the pressure of FINDING our future spouse.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment” (Matthew 22:37).
God desires for our hearts and minds to be fully devoted to Him and to trust in His timing and allow Him to be our matchmaker.
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
It’s up to our sovereign God and His perfect timing to present the woman to the man.
So ladies, let’s take comfort in the truth that we don’t need to do anything to FIND our husband. Instead, our focus should be submitting to the Lord as our Heavenly Husband until He presents us to our earthly husband. In our time of singleness, He will continue to sanctify, equip and develop us in order to be the “suitable helpmeet” (Genesis 2:18) for the husband He is developing us for! (How cool is that?!)
Gentlemen, it may seem like the pressure is all on you. But I want to encourage you that God is the ultimate matchmaker and when you place your trust in Him, He will present you with your future wife. It is then that you will sense promptings from the Holy Spirit to pursue a godly relationship with the woman He has created specifically for you.
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 31:10).
Throughout Scripture we are given many examples of God as matchmaker. In each story we can see how it was by God’s divine orchestration that He strategically placed women in the path of their husbands. Here are just a few examples:
- Eve was created from and for Adam. (Genesis 2)
- Ruth was placed in Boaz’ field. He took favor on her. (Ruth 2)
- Esther was presented to King Xerxes and he was intrigued. (Esther 2)
- Zipporah was given to Moses after he rescued her and her sisters from the shepherds at the well. (Exodus 2: 16-21)
- Gomer (a prostitute) was given to Hosea to marry. (Hosea 1:2-3)
“A man’s greatest treasure is his wife- she is a gift from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).
Although we are given the gift of free will to choose whomever we want to marry, it would be wise to conclude from the examples given in Scripture that it is best to surrender to God’s ultimate matchmaking abilities to alleviate the pressure we place on ourselves. After all, His ways are greater than our ways!
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:9).
Ladies, you are the treasure, the gift, the reward. Embrace your identity in Christ and trust in His timing. Gentlemen, recognize that God has already gone before you and is building and developing a wife specifically for you. Surrender your plans to the Lord and ask Him to direct your steps.
“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps” (Proverbs 16:9).
How does it make you feel to surrender your heart to God and fully trust that He will provide?