Have you been dating somebody a while and there’s just this little stirring in your heart wondering, “Is this the person I should be with?”

It’s that still small voice inside your heart analyzing and questioning if this the person you’re meant to share forever with. I’ve been there! In fact, I share my story of God pursuing my heart in the midst of my last (dysfunctional) relationship and the revelations I’ve been given over at

It’s easy to focus on things like physical attraction, comfort and compatibility in the sense that maybe you enjoy the same things, but these factors do not ultimately determine if the relationship is destined for longevity. Here I’d like to challenge you with three questions to pray about and see what the Lord reveals:

1. Do we bring each other into a better understanding of God’s love?

First and foremost, let’s not ignore the command to join together with someone that shares our same passion for faith as it’s the #1 area that can bring the most unity or disconnection:

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. (2 Corinthians 6:14 MSG)

2. Does this person produce the fruit of the Spirit?

The qualities and characteristics of a person are obvious and observable. Too often couples ignore reality for hopes that people will miraculously change. While all things are possible with God, using the wisdom and discernment you are given can alleviate unnecessary heartbreak.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

3. Do we compliment each other’s calling?

The Lord desires for couples to be unified to create greater Kingdom impact, not create divide and distraction to the gifts and talents you are born with.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5)

You are not a mistake. God has fashioned you together with a purpose and a plan for your life–above all else, to be in relationship with Him and to glorify Him in whatever you do. This includes the relationships you engage in. The relationship God desires for you will be one that magnifies, encourages and supports one another’s God-given mission.

(This happens to be a lesson I’ve learned the hard way as I was entangled in a relationship where the other person was constantly “Dissin’ My Mission.”)

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV)

If you’re feeling discontentment and questioning if this relationship is for you, may I propose that it could be the Holy Spirit trying to get your attention.

Are you willing to listen to the promptings from God and obey His commands, trusting that He has your best interest at heart? If you are feeling this nudge from the Spirit, what is He alerting you to?

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